Stay In Your Lane

Hello Everyone!

I remember hearing an interview from Glen Powell, the Hollywood star from Top Gun: Maverick, where he shared a great piece of advice he got from Denzel Washington. Early in his career, Washington told him, “Never look in the other lanes. You’re running your own race.” That stuck with Powell, and he later called it “the truest piece of advice I’ve ever gotten.” Why? Because it’s easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing, but at the end of the day, their path isn’t your path.

Let’s be real, nothing kills confidence faster than looking around and thinking, Why am I not where they are? We see people getting promotions, launching businesses, or just looking like they have it all together, and suddenly, we feel behind. But here’s the thing: you’re not running the same race as anyone else. Everyone’s starting point, path, and obstacles are different. Comparing yourself to someone else? That’s just setting yourself up for a confidence crash.

The Comparison Trap

You ever scroll through LinkedIn or Instagram and suddenly feel like you’re failing at life? Yeah, you’re not alone. Studies actually back this up - constantly comparing yourself to others can tank your mental health. One study in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that people who do this a lot feel more stressed, anxious, and just plain unhappy.

And don’t even get me started on social media. Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania found that cutting social media down to 30 minutes a day actually reduces feelings of depression and loneliness. Why? Because social media is a highlight reel. Nobody posts their struggles or failures—just the wins. It’s the same in real life, too. That colleague who just got promoted? You don’t see the extra hours they put in, the stress, or the years it took to get there.

Overnight Success? Yeah, Right.

One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is that success happens overnight. Spoiler: it doesn’t. It’s easy to see someone winning and think they got lucky, but in reality, they put in the work for years before that moment. There are many stories that prove this point - such as Howard Schultz, the guy behind Starbucks. He approached 242 investors and was turned down 217 times trying to get funding. Think about that number and how long it probably took for him to finally get someone to believe in him.

Look, sometimes people just get lucky. Maybe they have connections, money, or they happen to be in the right place at the right time. And yeah, sometimes people cut corners or play dirty to get ahead. It’s frustrating, but getting bitter about it won’t get you any further.

A study by Princeton economist Alan Krueger found that 70% of income differences come from things outside of a person’s control, like family background or where they were born. Life isn’t always fair, but here’s the thing, you can only control your actions. Focusing on what others have won’t help you win.

How to Stay in Your Lane

So, what can you do instead of falling into the comparison trap? Here are three things that actually work:

1. Define Your Own Success – What does winning look like for you? Is it career growth, financial freedom, work-life balance? Figure that out and focus on it - not what someone else is doing.
2. Measure Your Own Progress – Instead of comparing yourself to others, compare yourself to past you. Track your wins, big or small, and celebrate them.

3. Cut Out Comparison Triggers – If social media or certain conversations always make you feel behind, take a step back. Surround yourself with things that motivate you, not make you feel less than.

Parting Words

At the end of the day, the only race that matters is your own. When you see someone succeed, remember: you don’t see the struggles, failures, or years of hard work behind it. And if someone gets ahead unfairly? Let it go. Your energy is better spent on your journey.

So, stay in your lane. Focus on your own path. That’s where real confidence comes from.

Have a great beginning to your week!

Thought Of The Week

A weekly thought to meditate, ruminate, and/or ponder on:

"A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms."

- Zen Proverb

If you are interested in improving your speaking, communication skills and confidence, schedule a call with me or learn more about communication coaching here. And if you haven't yet, subscribe to The Confidence Weekly Newsletter here.