Don't Fake It 'Til You Make It

Hello Everyone!

I remember watching Amy Cuddy's popular TED talk almost 13 years ago on the positive impact body language and power poses have on self-confidence. Then she talked about the concept of "fake it 'til you make it", which is the idea of pretending to have confidence, skills, or expertise you don’t yet possess in the hopes that acting the part will eventually make it real. At first it sounded revolutionary, but as I tried practicing it, I began recognizing how inauthentic it made me feel. In short, I felt like a fraud. Here's why I believe this concept isn't good for your self-confidence.

The Anxiety of Pretending

Imagine walking into a room, putting on a mask, and hoping no one notices it's not really you. That's essentially what "faking it" feels like. Harvard Business School professor Laura Huang shared her experience with this approach, noting that trying to "fake it" only amplified her self-doubt and anxiety. Instead of boosting her confidence, it made her question her authenticity and abilities even more.

Pretending to be someone we're not can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy. When others buy into our façade, it widens the gap between who we are and who we're portraying, leading to increased stress and a diminished sense of self-worth.

Professional Risks

In the startup world, "fake it 'til you make it" has become a sort of badge of honor. Entrepreneurs are encouraged to project success to attract investors and customers. However, this culture can blur the lines between optimism and deceit. As Dr. Tim Weiss from Imperial College Business School points out, this bravado can be a license for bad behavior, leading to ethical oversights and, in some cases, outright fraud.

Remember the real life example of Elizabeth Holmes? She projected immense confidence in her company's blood-testing technology, despite its flaws. This façade led to significant legal troubles and the company's downfall - and now she's serving a 13 year jail sentence. Always remember, overconfidence without substance can lead to dire consequences.

Don't Avoid Risks - Just Keep It Real

Let’s be clear, taking risks is essential for growth. No one ever achieved something great by staying in their comfort zone. Everyday, people do something that feels like they have to fake it, but in reality, it requires a learning curve. For example, stepping into a new leadership role, pitching a bold idea, or learning a new skill - all of these is about growth and it requires a leap of faith. And guess what? You don’t have to be perfect before you take that leap.

But here’s where “fake it 'til you make it” gets it wrong: it encourages deception over development. Instead of acknowledging gaps in knowledge and actively working to fill them, faking it can lead people to mask their inexperience, hoping no one notices. The problem? If you’re pretending instead of learning, you’re delaying real progress.

A better approach? Take the risk, be transparent about where you are, and commit to learning along the way. Confidence doesn’t come from acting like you have all the answers - it comes from proving to yourself that you’re capable of figuring things out.

Parting Words

While stepping out of our comfort zones is essential for growth, it's crucial to remain true to ourselves. Authenticity fosters genuine connections and sustainable success. So, let's ditch the masks and embrace who we truly are, flaws and all. After all, the real journey to confidence begins with self-acceptance.

Have a great beginning to your week!

Thought Of The Week

A weekly thought to meditate, ruminate, and/or ponder on:

"It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation."

- Herman Melville

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