It's All a Façade

Hello Friends!

I have two middle-school aged daughters and they both have iPhones. My wife and I have made sure to implement rules, such as when they are allowed to use it and the apps they have access to. Some of their friends have asked them to join Snapchat, a social media platform popular among younger kids. My wife and I were steadfast in our reply: NO!

There are many reasons we are against our kids being on social media, one of them being how easy it is to lose self-confidence when getting lost in the comparison trap of other people's lives.

Let’s talk about the impact of these façades, what the recent numbers say, and a couple of real-life stories that underscore just how misleading these illusions can be.

The Comparison Conundrum

Social media makes it ridiculously easy to compare ourselves to others. One minute you're fine, and the next you’re convinced you’re failing because someone you haven't spoken to since high school just bought a beach house. A 2024 report by Global Web Index found that the average person spends 2 hours and 36 minutes on social media every day. That’s plenty of time to go down the comparison rabbit hole.

And it takes a toll. A 2024 study by the American Psychological Association revealed that 68% of young adults feel inadequate after scrolling through social media. It makes sense. When you see someone’s highlight reel and compare it to your behind-the-scenes, you’re not giving yourself a fair shot.

The Fakers

Anna Sorokin

Remember Anna Sorokin? You might know her as Anna Delvey - the fake heiress who scammed New York’s elite by pretending she was loaded. She scored invites to exclusive parties, free stays at luxury hotels, and even convinced banks to lend her money. Turns out, her entire “lavish lifestyle” was built on lies. She was eventually convicted of fraud.

The wild part? People envied her success while she was living on borrowed time and borrowed cash. Her story, which inspired Netflix's Inventing Anna, is a textbook example of how easy it is to fall for a facade - and feel bad about your own life in the process.

Belle Gibson

Then there’s Belle Gibson, the influencer who claimed she cured her cancer with natural remedies. She raked in money through her app and wellness empire, and thousands of people looked up to her as a beacon of health. But it was all a lie - she never had cancer. In 2017, she was fined for misleading her followers.

People followed her for hope and inspiration. And what did they get? A harsh reminder that not everything (or everyone) online is what it seems.

The Confidence Funk

All this fake perfection does a number on your confidence. 60% of social media users say social media negatively impacts their self-esteem. It’s not just a passing funk in their confidence either; some people start doubting their abilities at work, their parenting skills, or even their self-worth.

I’ve seen this happen with professionals who hesitate to speak up in meetings because they think everyone else is more accomplished. Spoiler alert: they’re not.

Control What You Can Control

Here's what you can do to get yourself out of that funk:

1. Set Boundaries: 
   Give yourself a time limit on social media. Try a 30-minute cap and see how you feel.

2. Curate Your Feed:
   Unfollow anyone who makes you feel like you’re not enough. Follow people who keep it real.

3. Practice Gratitude: 
   I know it sounds like a Hallmark card, but listing three things you’re grateful for each day helps shift your focus.

4. Fact-Check the Facade:
   Remind yourself that social media is a highlight reel. Real life is messy, and that’s okay.

Parting Words

Look, it’s human to compare ourselves to others. But before you let that “perfect” influencer make you feel small, remember: you’re seeing a curated version of their life. You’ve got your own strengths, your own wins, and your own path. So, the next time you feel the comparison monster creeping in, take a breath, log off, and remember - you’re already enough.

Have a great beginning to your week!

Thought Of The Week

A weekly thought to meditate, ruminate, and/or ponder on:

"Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle."

- John Acuff

If you are interested in improving your speaking, communication skills and confidence, schedule a call with me or learn more about communication coaching here. And if you haven’t yet, subscribe to The Confidence Weekly Newsletter here.