Overcoming The Comparison Trap

Jul 07, 2024
Confidence Building

Overcoming The Comparison Trap

 

Happy Sunday Friends!

I was recently talking to a 20-year corporate professional, and he expressed feeling behind in his career success compared to his friends. I replied to him "Buddy, you are not alone!". 

It's very easy to compare where we are in life to where others are. Think about the number of times you found yourself scrolling through social media, only to feel a sinking sense of inadequacy. This phenomenon, known as the comparison trap, affects us all. By constantly comparing ourselves to others, we can undermine our own confidence and sense of self-worth. Today, let’s explore how this trap can impact our confidence and, more importantly, how we can overcome it.

 

Strategies to Overcome the Comparison Trap

Self-Awareness: The first step to overcoming the comparison trap is recognizing when you’re falling into it. If you catch yourself having envious, jealous and negative thoughts and feelings after seeing or hearing about someone else, do your best to not go down the rabbit hole of despair. Instead, you want to immediately tell yourself that you are on your own path, and they are on their path (more on this later).

Gratitude: I learned this later in life, but trust me when I tell you that gratitude is one of the most important emotions you can lean into in life. When you practice gratitude, it pushes you to focus on your own achievements and strengths. It allows you to appreciate your journey and successes, no matter how small they might seem. Remember, you are on your own path. Appreciate the steps you've taken while walking down that path.

Limit Social Media Exposure: Social media can be a significant trigger for comparison. The algorithm is meant to push out sensationalized content to incite an equal triggering emotional response. Be careful not falling into a doom-scroll, and instead limit your time on these platforms. Also, just remember that the content that you see is of people who often showcase only their best moments, and in some cases a façade of their real life (i.e. it's fake).

Seek Inspiration, Not Comparison: Once you master self-awareness, try to use others' successes as a source of inspiration rather than a comparative benchmark. Ask yourself what you can learn from their journey and how it can motivate you to achieve your own goals.

 

Parting Words - Stay In Your Lane 

As I mentioned above, focus on your path. When you compare yourself to someone else, you are leaving a few important elements out of the equation. You don't know when or where they started in their journey. You don't know if they had more struggles or challenges than you. You are assuming their current life is successful, without knowing that as a fact. Additionally, it's important to accept that some people will get "there" faster than you, or will have it easier than you. You cannot let that bother you.

When you are running in your lane, you want recognize that the lane is long. It is a marathon, not a sprint. Don't look at the runners to your right or left. It doesn't matter what is happening in their lane, just keep your head down and keep moving forward in your lane. Eventually, you will get to YOUR DESIRED destination.

Have a fantastic week ahead!

 


 

If you are interested in improving your speaking, communication skills and confidence, schedule a call with me or learn more about communication coaching here.

 


 

Thought Of The Week

A weekly thought to meditate, ruminate, and/or ponder on:

 

"The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday."

 


 

 

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