What Am I Actually Good At?

There are things we are good at and things we want to be good at. For example, some of us aspire to excel in areas that we admire—public speaking, sports, entrepreneurship—but how many of us are truly aware of what we are actually good at?

It’s easy to get caught up in the allure of our ideal selves and overlook our genuine talents. Understanding our real strengths is an art in self-reflection. Let’s explore how to uncover our true abilities.

The Illusion vs. Reality

We often mistake our aspirations for our strengths. Early in my career, with only 6 years of professional experience, I thought I was invincible. I used to think that I can handle any leadership position in any industry because I was convinced that my limited "battle-scars" made me good at those roles. For example, I once believed that I would be a great Commissioner of the NBA. I didn't care that I had no hands-on experience and knowledge on the innerworkings of running a multi-billion-dollar international powerhouse. It's amazing what false-confidence and aspirational illusion can do to a person.

In fact, there is a term for this erroneous mindset. Some of you may have heard of the Dunning-Kruger Effect. The Dunning-Kruger Effect is when people with little knowledge or skill in an area mistakenly think they are much better at it than they really are, while experts tend to underestimate their own abilities. This leads to a mismatch between how good people think they are and how good they actually are.

While it’s admirable to aim high, it’s crucial to distinguish between what we want to be good at and what we are naturally good at. 

So how can you discover what you are actually good at? Here’s a structured approach to help you find your true strengths:

1. Self-Reflection

• Identify Your Passions: Ask yourself what activities do you find engaging?
  
  (Tip: Think about past moments where you lose track of time because you’re so absorbed in what you’re doing.)
  
  
• Assess Past Successes: Look back at your achievements. What tasks did you excel at naturally?
  
  (Tip: Identify patterns in your successes.)

2. Seek Feedback

• Ask Trusted Peers: Reach out to friends, family, and colleagues who know you well. Their honest insights can reveal strengths you might overlook. Do not be scared of criticism, but rather embrace it.
  
  (Tip: If you have access to past-job performance reviews or feedback surveys, take time to study them so that you may gain a comprehensive view of your abilities.)

3. Experiment & Learn

• Try New Things: Engage in diverse activities and roles. Pay attention to areas where you adapt quickly and perform well.
  
  
• Continuous Learning: Take courses, attend workshops, and embrace new challenges to uncover hidden talents.

4. Personality & Aptitude Tests

• Use Assessments: Tools like Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), StrengthsFinder, or DISC can provide valuable insights into your natural preferences and abilities.

5. Professional Guidance

• Coaching or Counseling: A professional development coach or career counselor can help you navigate and identify your strengths through structured exercises and professional insights.

What If I'm Not Good At Anything?

If you cannot find an answer after going through the above exercises, and you are still feeling like you’re not good at anything, it’s often a result of not having explored enough or not receiving proper feedback. Of the 5 strategies mentioned above, I would lean into:

• Explore and experience new things
• Seek constructive feedback
• Use personality tests

We don't know what we don't know, which is why doing new things can open your eyes to areas of yourself that you didn't know existed.

What If I Want To Be Good At Something That I Struggle With

Don't let this article stop you from working hard to get good at something that you may currently struggle with. If you want to be a better speaker, then hire a communication skills coach. If you want to be a better swimmer, join a local YMCA and practice every day. Some things we want to get good at are skills that can be developed; while other things we want to get good at may require innate talent. For example, you can practice basketball every day to get better, but you may not have the natural athleticism as Lebron James and therefore may never be as good as him - and that's okay.

As already stated, you won't know what you are good at unless you try. For your professional advancement, lean into things you are good at. For self-happiness, have fun doing things you may not be good at, but enjoy (i.e. sports).

Parting Words

Discovering what you’re genuinely good at requires a combination of self-reflection, feedback, experimentation, and continuous learning. By focusing on your true strengths or trying new things, you can build confidence in yourself and your abilities. These are the steps you must take to achieve greater success in your personal and professional life. Remember, it’s not about being good at everything, but excelling in what truly aligns with your natural abilities.

If you are interested in improving your speaking, communication skills and confidence, schedule a call with me or learn more about communication coaching here.

Thought Of The Week

A weekly thought to meditate, ruminate, and/or ponder on:

"The greatest talents often lie buried out of sight."

- Plautus