Confidence or Con-Artists?

Happy Sunday Friends!

In the professional world, confidence is a prized trait. It's often seen as the key to success, enabling individuals to lead teams, close deals, and inspire others. However, confidence has a sinister counterpart: the con-artist. Both may appear self-assured and persuasive, but their intentions and outcomes diverge dramatically. 

In modern social media, everyone is a "thought leader". Many believe their professional experiences automatically grant them a seat at the table, and that "audiences" will come flocking to hear their "unique" wisdom. They have mistaken over-confidence for self-confidence, as they truly believe their knowledge is the "answer" to YOUR problems. Then the harsh reality of audience-building sets in. Many soon realize that there is too much noise out there and it takes time to gain "followers". However, there are some who are determined to sell their knowledge to the masses and will use tactics that prey on the vulnerable, conning them into buying an unhelpful program, digital product or any other service.

Please note that each word in quotation marks above should be accompanied by a dramatic eye-roll for full effect. 🙄

In the corporate world, there are many "fake it 'til you make it" ladder climbers who prey on decision makers vulnerabilities to advance their way up to the top. Building confidence in yourself is a great way to counter the con-artists and standout from them.

So, let's take a dive into these two traits to make sure you are prepared in recognizing the differences.

Confidence

Confidence is rooted in knowledge, competence and authenticity. It stems from a deep understanding of one's abilities. Confident individuals communicate clearly and assertively without resorting to manipulation or deceit. Here are some key characteristics of genuine confidence:

• Self-Awareness: Confident people have a clear understanding of their strengths and weaknesses. They are open to feedback and willing to admit mistakes, viewing them as opportunities for growth.
• Growth Mindset: They are always gaining and attaining knowledge. The more one knows about a topic, the more confident they are in speaking about it or taking action on it.
• Practicing: Those that have a high sense of self-confidence have proven battle-scars from consistent repetition. It's the repetition that gives them belief in themselves and their abilities.
• Empathy: True confidence is often coupled with empathy. Confident individuals listen actively and consider others' perspectives, fostering mutual respect and trust.
• Transparency:  They are open about their intentions and avoid ambiguity. This honesty builds credibility and long-term relationships. In other words, confident people have nothing to hide.

Con-Artists:

Con-artists, on the other hand, use manipulation and deceit to achieve their goals. They often mask their intentions behind a facade of confidence, which can make them difficult to identify. Here are some traits commonly associated with con-artists:

• Manipulative: Con-artists are skilled at reading people and exploiting their vulnerabilities. They use flattery and charm or leverage the recipients emotional and vulnerable state to gain trust quickly.
• Close-Minded: Con-artists always think they are right. That their way is the only way, and even if they admit they were wrong, their actions and demeanor will usually suggest the opposite.
• Inconsistency: Their actions often don’t match their words. They make promises they can’t keep and frequently change their stories to suit their needs. Additionally, they don't walk the talk.
• Lack of Empathy: Con-artists are primarily focused on their own gain. They may act as if they care for the needs of others, but in reality, they have little regard for consequences of their actions.

Leveraging Communication Skills

Effective communication is the cornerstone of distinguishing between confidence and con-artistry. By honing your communication skills, you can better identify genuine confidence in others and cultivate it within yourself. Here are some strategies to help you navigate these waters:

• Active Listening: Pay close attention to what people say and how they say it. Confident individuals will listen to you just as attentively as they expect you to listen to them. Con-artists, however, may dominate conversations or steer them to their advantage.
• Ask Probing Questions: When someone makes a claim, ask for details. Confident individuals will welcome the opportunity to provide more information, whereas con-artists may become evasive or defensive.
• Observe Body Language: Non-verbal cues can reveal a lot. Confident individuals exhibit open and relaxed body language. They maintain eye contact and have steady, calm gestures. Con-artists might display over-exaggerated expressions or shifty movements when pressed for details.
• Seek Consistency: Look for consistency in their stories and actions. Confident people will have a coherent narrative, whereas con-artists may have gaps or contradictions in their stories.
• Selfless or Selfish Stories:  Consider their stories, whether on social media or told to you personally. Confident individuals will seek to add value, motivate and uplift you. They genuinely want to help. Con-artists will only talk about their life struggles and how they overcame it. 

Parting Words

As you continue to find professional success, be sure to distinguish between true confidence and deceptive charm. By enhancing your communication skills, you can recognize and cultivate genuine confidence, leading to more meaningful and trustworthy relationships. Remember, the goal is not just to appear confident but to embody it authentically through competence, empathy, practice and integrity. Let’s strive to be leaders who inspire and uplift others, building a professional world grounded in trust and mutual respect.

If you are interested in improving your speaking, communication skills and confidence, schedule a call with me or learn more about communication coaching here.

Thought Of The Week

A weekly thought to meditate, ruminate, and/or ponder on:

“If Con-Artists Manipulate The Truth, What Does That Make Marketers?”