Cat Got Your Tongue?

Finding The Right Words 

Have you ever felt that you have something profound to say, but for some reason, you are unable to articulate it well? In my mind, it sounds like a speech by MLK, but when I start speaking, I sound like Daffy Duck. And the scenarios of when we can't get the right words out or make it sound impactful can be so varied:

• Motivating speech
• Retelling an interesting story
• Speaking to someone intimidating
• Defending yourself during an argument
• Writing a blog article or social media post
• Trying to impress a person you are speaking to
• Highlighting your strengths during a job interview

There are many reasons why we may struggle to say what we want to say in a meaningful way:

• Poor pronunciation
• Lack of preparation
• Limited vocabulary
• Confidence issue
• Speech anxiety
• Rate of speech

So how does one overcome this phenomenon? We don't want to be in a position of consistently forgetting what to say, or struggling how to say it.

Don't worry, I got you covered. Here are some ways to get you over that speaking hump:

1. Embrace The Flaws

Too often, we believe confidence means perfection, when in fact, it's the opposite. Confidence (in speaking) means embracing the imperfection: the poor delivery, stuttering, mumbling, monotone voice and low pitch. When we embrace our flaws, we become more authentic and relatable.

When the audio-only social media app, Clubhouse, first launched, I found myself stuttering and rambling when trying to express a point of view. I realized the reason for this was insecurity and a bit of speech anxiety, even though I've been speaking for years in front of audiences. I decided to take steps to overcome these challenges, including buying some courses and hiring coaches. Today, put me in front of any speaking platform and I get excited to articulate my thoughts and opinions - with confidence!

Acknowledge and accept your flaws without judgment and reframe them as opportunities for growth and learning. Instead of seeing your flaws as permanent shortcomings, view them as areas where you can improve and develop.

2. Have Opinions

We are told to keep our opinions to ourselves. I actually agree with this concept as general rule, but what has happened in the last ten to fifteen years is that some people are so afraid to give their opinion that they don't even formulate one anymore. If you don't give your mind the permission to freely form a subjective argument, it's essentially suppressing your internal "free speech" and psychologically restricting you from expressing yourself. That inevitably creates speech blocks, resulting in a struggle to get the right words out. Therefore, be sure to embrace your viewpoints and internally, develop valid arguments to support your opinion. Allow your mind to have a strong voice. 

3. Read & Write

Sometimes, a limited vocabulary can hinder your ability to impactfully express yourself. Not knowing the right words to say can be solved with more reading and writing. Whether it's reading fiction novels, self-help books, biographies, magazines, news articles or newsletters and blogs - the more you read, the more your mind will expand.

Additionally, practice expressing your thoughts and knowledge by putting pen to paper. Do daily journaling, social media posts, or a weekly newsletter. Don't cheat by using ChatGPT as that will defeat the purpose of this exercise. The point is that if you want to overcome speaking challenges, reading and writing are two of the easiest exercises that can help you come out on top. 

4. Practice Talking

There's no better way to improve at something than practicing. When I have speaking engagements, I practice my talk every day, multiple times a day, a week prior to the event. During the speaking engagement, I record myself and rewatch it to take notes on what I did well and what needs improvement.

There are endless ways to practice on your own. Record yourself. Talk out loud. Write and memorize speech scripts. Create YouTube and other social media videos. Join a debate club. Hire a speaking coach. The list can be endless.

The best part about practicing is that it will get you out of your speaking funk. You won't struggle with finding the right words or speaking impactfully. 

5. Word Games

The last strategy is playing word games, such as crossword puzzles, Wordle, Words With Friends, etc. These games are great to get your mind primed for thinking on the spot, and pulling words out of your memory bank. The more you keep your mind active, the easier it will be for you to get the right words out.

Parting Words

There are numerous articles on why people struggle with speaking eloquently, or finding the right words, or even with remembering words. I wanted to provide you with practice and easy methods in overcoming the problem. If you find yourself having difficulty with articulating your thoughts, or having writer's block, try at least one of these tactics and watch how you will improve.

If you are interested in improving your speaking, communication skills and confidence, schedule a call with me or learn more about communication coaching here.

Thought Of The Week

A weekly thought to meditate, ruminate, and/or ponder on:

In What Areas Can I Improve My Speaking Skill?